My baby is one!

Olivia is now a whole one years old! I just can't believe it,where does the time go? It doesn't seem a whole year ago that she was a day old and we were having cuggles on the sofa.Now she is a proper little cheeky chops who never ceases to amaze me!.
On Saturday we had a party and a bbq for her,with a whopping 20+ guests.Liv was spoiled rotten and loved every minute.She especially loved her cake.







It's sometimes hard to believe how fast they grow up.



And we made it to the one year breastfeeding milestone! I have decided to carry on and see how things go as of the past 4 nights she has slept through which was the only reason i would consider giving up,but if she is sleeping then i don't see the need.

Ahh love my little family.

It's that time again.

My maternity leave is now up.I can't believe i have been off for nearly ten months.I am going back on the 3rd May and i have to do two silly weeks full time training.I am returning as a breastfeeding mama woop and work are being surprisingly cooperative.After the training i'll be back to my old 2.5 days a week.
After applying for several jobs and getting nowhere i have resigned myself to going back to my old job which i despise-sales.
I have never been so unhappy in my career.I am not a sales person,i couldn't sell sand to the Arabs.I want to do nursing/care work,if only someone would give me a chance but all it takes is someone to apply who has a teeny bit of experience and BHAM there's my chance gone.
I am thinking of doing some volunteer work at the hospital,helping the elderly around,making tea,helping the HCA's etc.I think i need to prove that it is what i want to do,which it is.I have been thinking about my career for years now and i know everyone says "wait a few years then concentrate on your career" but they do not work where i work.It is hell,they have such a high turnover that i will be surprised if any of my old colleagues still work there.
I am determined to have a new job by the end of the year.

Bath,Milky,Bed

I have finally started getting Olivia into a routine,night two was last night,she had her bath and fell asleep on the sofa afterwards haha so i gave her a sleepy feed and she was asleep in her cot at 7.30pm! she then slept till 10pm had another feed slept till 12.30am had a feed then slept till 3am.Can you see the pattern? Every 2 and a half hours.I am so tired but thankfully Madison had a lie in this morning which is very unusual i actually got worried! She woke up at 7am instead of 6am.
I can't believe its February already,I bet this year will fly by.My maternity pay runs out in May so i'm hoping to get a new job around then,I can't face going back to my old job,yes the hours were good but the actual work was horrid and so were the majority of the people who worked there and you just know when your face doesn't fit.I'm hoping to get into care work in the evening so Paul can look after the kids,although we do still have the problem of Olivia not taking a bottle! We tried again the other night and she just messed with the teat,had a few sucks then got angry and would only feed off me.It's nice in a way that she only wants me but on the other hand when am i going to have a break?? I wanted to have a good few beers for my birthday in April but i won't be able to now lol good job i love you Olivia! And i wanted to breastfeed for a year anyway lol
Plan of action for today is to go playgroup with the girls then have a bit of shop,come home and relax ahhh,I best go and get my gorgeous girls ready.

Well,Well,Well.

Olivia has put on 11oz in 14 days! The little chunk,she is back to being on the 50th percentile now,but i think that is the last time i am going to get her weighed.I can see shes healthy and shes meeting milestones etc,the worry over her weight just give me unnecessary stress.
I really love breastfeeding at the moment,i am so glad i perserved with it with both girls.I can't imagine making bottles at daft o clock lol! but not just that i love the bond that it gives me and Olivia,the bond that only we as mother and daughter have.It's such a shame that some people don't even try,at the clinic today which is in chav central near my nans,there was only me breastfeeding out of what must of been around 10 mums! Shocking :(

Madison went to bed at 6pm tonight bless her cottons,she hasn't had a nap all day! but has had a very busy day,went to nannys and did some "cooking" lol,i'm just hoping this early night doesnt induce a 5am wakeup eek!

I sometimes wonder if i have any "real" friends,seeing as someone i let be at the birth of my child decides to go out with someone else when we have made plans then lie and go out with someone else instead of me and not even let me know really upset me **sigh**..ahh you know what..fook her as she just isn't worthy of my friendship,i am better than let this get me down! Id love a friend who i could speak to everyday and see all the time and you known just do girly things with,but they seem so hard to find! :( I am in a rather sad mood tonight,i think it is time for a brew and a film on my own.

What a life i lead.If it wasn't for my family i don't think id bother! The thought of us all moving away and starting anew is seeming more and more appealing day by day.